Letting go is hard. As small children, we let go of silly things...blankies, boogeymen, sucking our thumbs. As adults, we let go of hard stuff. Tonight, my son witnessed me letting go of something or rather someone that was very important in our lives. Someone that had an impact on our day-to-day. Someone who mattered...or so I thought.

If i could define myself in three words...bitch, lover, giver. And even the "bitch" comes in handy for 9 out of 10 times. I do not let things go and I hold my people close, love them hard, protect and more. When I am let go, it is a blow, no doubt. I was not expecting the let-go. Are we ever? I was expecting the in-it-for-the-long-haul.

Funny how God has other plans right? Well, I have dealt with it as best I can the past weeks, but sometimes, memories or emotions get the best of me. I got-GOT- tonight...just when I thought I was good. But you know what? That is being human. That is bearing your soul when you want to hide. That is life. And how you deal with all that, shows your humanity and your resilience.

It is hard, the letting go thing. But you know, we all have to do it, and to do it with grace and humility is key. Because sometimes, even if we were pushed into it, it leads to us seeing that it was for the best. Now, honestly, I am not there yet. I still have a very raw and open wound, but my head tells my heart to shut up everyday and keep moving forward.

Here is what I know:

• No one will ever love that person more than I did. Try, try, try again.
• No one will ever give more of themselves to that person, or their people, than I did, or in the way that I did.
• No one will ever be me...no matter how hard they try. And if that person ignores the fact of who I was and what I meant, shame on them.

It is not self-reassurance, it just is what it is. I gave my all. I was not perfect, but by God, I tried. I could not do it alone, and here we are.

Tomorrow will be a new day. New people, new things, new times. I am grateful for those surrounding me and loving me. I am grateful to know that the past few years, I tried like hell. But you cannot do it alone. Point made. So here I go again.